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About Deviant She'll punch you in the face!Female/United States Group :iconask-a-state: Ask-A-State
United we stand!
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Deviant for 2 Years
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Heyy you guys!

As y'all have probably noticed, I haven't been very active at all here the past few months and I'm really sorry about that, but now I think it's time for me to officially say I'm leaving the RP community on dA.

It's been over 5 years, you know?  I've been around here the entire duration of my high school career (and then some).

I remember when I first discovered Hetalia back in my 8th grade summer and how much loved it.  I even remember the exact day I made Belle back in 2011- June 15- which ironically was also the day Arkansas joined the union back in 1836.  She was really horrible OC back then (a hella mary sue) and I shipped her with the cannon nations because well... that's what weeaboos do lmao.  After just posting pictures of her on my old main account I discovered the RP community in winter 2013.  I still remember the first state who watched me on my first RP account and complimented me (It was a New Mexico named Harrison- Quincy if you ever see this I still remember you hun and I'm glad I met you).  Granted it full of drama too, but hey tbh those are some of my most memorable and favorite memories pff.  Back then the RP community was really lively and wild.  The chatzy mass rps were wild and always crazy, the join.mes were always fun, the answers given from asks were always really funny and the rps in general were always so much fun.  Hell there were even coding trends amongst the fandom where we all code our profiles and make them look hella pretty (for all you old timers around here do y'all remember when big, elaborate banners were really popular?  I still have all the banners I made from back then lmao).  There was just such a variety of states, provinces, countries, etc. around and I met so many different people and made so many friends (and enemies too).

And as those years went by I was slowly developing Belle into the character that she is today.  She's been through a lot changes (and I do mean a lot).  I'm sure if you search around a little bit you can find older versions of Belle and my progress with her.  There's this one person in particular that I have to thank because she was the first person who actually pushed me to expand Belle as personification.  I don't remember here name or her old dA user (I'm so sorry), but she had a really nice California (I don't remember his name) and her art style very nice and rounded and her coloring was soft.  She's actually the reason why Belle is black today lmao.  I wish I could do something for this person to show my gratitude, but this is honestly all I can do especially since now she's been long gone for years.

Now there are multiple reasons why I'm leaving-

For one 2016 in general has just really sucked ass.  I've been through so much this year and I've had so many betrayals and friends leave me.  My mental health after finally a complete year of stability (2015 was lit), started to have a downfall in July because I was hanging around the wrong people and finally just took a major plunge at the end of November.  Luckily my grades didn't go to shit like everything else seemed to in my life though, so that's something.

Speaking of grades, I'm a senior in highschool now and as you all know senior year is always hella busy.  I'm also in many clubs and in sports, so I'm often traveling or doing club activities.  Also because I'm in advanced placement, this year all my important classes have been college classes and require a lot of time to do homework and study.  Spring semester is only going to get more hectic and busy for me, so it's going to be very hard for me to even draw let alone rp.

Another thing is that honestly... this place is dead.
I mean sure there's a few people still hanging around here and there, but some many people have left  and there hasn't been any new people in very long time.  And the most the people who are still around are well... undesirables let's just put it at that.  It would be okay with the very few people who are still around and are actually decent if we all actually, you know, talked to each other?  RPed with each other?  But none of us do that anymore (myself included).  We always post journals and stuff claiming that we're gonna be more active and RP more, but those are just empty promises tbh.

This place is empty and it breaks my heart.  I remember when it wasn't like this- when this place was a fun place to be in.

It's not fun here anymore.

Maybe I'll come back one day when the activity pick back up who knows?  But tbh I feel like my stay around here is overdue...  There's a part of me that feels like that I'm getting a little too old for this place.

Now that doesn't mean I'm going to drop Belle or my presence is disappearing completely from this fandom.  Of course not!  That's 5 years of works in the making it would be a total waste to just drop her like that.  I'll just post whatever art I draw of her and my other personification OCs on my main dA and instagram instead of here and post any headcannons/etc. on Belle's tumblr.  I just don't want to directly associate myself with the RP community on dA anymore.

My experience with this place has many highs and lows.  I tend to remience in the memories of highs, but I also don't forget about the lows mainly becauses the lows were often very, very low.  Literally some of my most favorite and most hated memories of my life occurred while I in this fandom.  This place helped me cope with my life outside of the internet and I'm glad I had this place to hold on to as a crutch because I honestly if it wasn't for this place... I probably would've been dead.  I'm not deactivating this account because I want it stand as a memorial to my highschool years and all the progress I put into my creative progress (plus the coding on here is really pretty and I think it would be such a waste to deactivate lol).

I'm forever grateful for this place.

I'm forever thankful for all the people I met and all the friends I made and all the experiences I had here.  This place has literally changed my life and I'll never forget this place.  I'll never forget you guys.  Thank you all so much for being part of my life.

Goodbye~ <3

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